Oliver and Pearl in 1943, holding my sister, Barbara
That might be my grandfather's DeSoto coupe in the background. He always called this particular car "my machine." As in, "Where did I park my machine?"
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Then one night, sitting on the edge of the bed before his shift began, he angrily threw his blackjack against the wall. Police work apparently didn't suit him either. Next, he opened a pool room. Sometime around World War II, he became the manager of the local Eagles Club. Among his jobs was tinkering with the slot machines to adjust their payout. The coins would get dumped out on a big oaken table before the tinkering began. Any nickels or dimes that rolled onto the floor were mine. I looked forward the tinkering sessions. I also eagerly anticipated visits from the "otter" (auditor) until I found out he was just an ordinary man.
Kids weren't allowed to watch the floor shows at the Eagles Club, with the exception of the Christmas show. As manager, Grampy also had to hire performers through a booking agent in Erie, PA. I was seven years old and living with my grandparents when I finally got to see a show. There I was in the Big Room, sitting at a table with Grammy, drinking Nehi orange pop and watching a blond tap dancer in a brief, spangly costume. Everything was fine until she tap-danced over to Grampy, plopped herself down on his lap, wrapped her arms around him and planted a big "show-biz" kiss on his forehead. Everyone else laughed and applauded. I burst into tears. I was outraged. How dare she?
Why was I living with my grandparents? When I was two, my sister, Barbara, was born, but our parents' marriage was already in trouble. Often, I would stay with Pearl and Oliver while Mother and Barbara went to White haven, my maternal grandparents' farm. It so happened I was with Pearl and Oliver at the Eagles Club when I caught spinal meningitis at age 3. The other case in town was a taxi driver, who'd also been at the club. He died. I was in a coma for several days and lost the hearing in my right ear.
Over the next few years, until our parents' divorce, Barbara and I spent part of our time at our parents' house and part of our time at our grandparents' houses. Both of us might be together at the farm, but often I would be by myself at Pearl and Oliver's. By the time I was five, I probably began spending more and more time with them, so that someone could drive me to Mrs. Smith's house for kindergarten. After the divorce in 1947, Mother and Barbara took a train to Miami, FL, where Mother married Charles. I moved in with Pearl and Oliver and lived full time with them until my dad's remarriage in 1949.
I was about to say I enjoyed reading this part of your story but it's not very full of joy but it is very interesting to me and I did find it very interesting to read. I have many stories just like this one and my background to. A zoo my kids have with me and my marriages. My mother's parents were divorced the 1942
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DeleteI am glad you enjoyed it. The reason I originally wrote this was to tell three recently discovered first cousins something about our grandparents. Then I thought I'd share it with my blog "pen pals."
DeleteThat brush with meningitis was scary -- glad you survived it! Pearl and Oliver really stepped up for you during your childhood as surrogate parents.
ReplyDeleteYes it was terrifying, really. I never knew quite how my mother's illness came about and the story about her being in a coma for days, or about the man from the club that actually lost his life due to this very serious infection.
DeleteThey certainly did. They were very loving grandparents.
ReplyDeleteHow weird to split you up from your sister. Is there a reason why you didn't go with your mother?
ReplyDeleteYou're right. Splitting the custodies like that was unusual in 1946, but I think maybe the judge was my dad's friend and saw things his way. Perhaps differences in income had something to do with the judge's decision. My dad had an established law practice, while Mother's new husband had gone to Miami looking for work. He found it. There was a post-war building boom going on and he was a skilled mason. But the boom didn't last forever and soon they were back in PA, where they operated a hunting lodge. In any case, if any one had asked me who I wanted to stay with, I would have said Grammy and Grampy. I was a little afraid of Mother. It didn't take much to make her angry.
DeletePeople treat "the good old days" as something golden, with families always intact and life always being good. But people are people, now and also then. It's interesting, reading about your story. And the three newly found first cousins are also an interesting side story. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOne day I'll tell the story of the new cousins.
DeleteWhile I am sure your grandparents looked after you well, your mother effectively left you? Ok, I've read some comments now and it is clearer. Yes, the good old days......
ReplyDeleteMother did not really leave me. I was taken from her. She was so obsessed with righting this injustice that her new husband finally said, "Let this go. You have other children to care for." (They had three daughters of their own, and also my sister, Barbara.)
Delete"The Machine" was what all the relatives my parents' age and older called their cars.
ReplyDeleteI remember that term with fondness.
DeleteAn interesting family history
ReplyDeleteI've come to believe that every family has an interesting story.
DeleteAgree, but some family stories are more colorful and interesting than others. But every family has its quirks.
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ReplyDeleteI wish more people would share stories of there family. I think it would it would be better in long run. Sort like saying history repeats it self, and it doesn't need to.
ReplyDeleteStay Safe and Coffee is on
I was afraid maybe I'd put too much out there. People seemed to find it interesting, though.
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DeleteMaybe so, maybe not. But, you family history is fascinating, and I think quite unusual. The story is intrinsically interest, and you tell it in a way that it comes to life. You have always been a born storyteller and are able to really the people in your life who were instrumental in shaping the person you are. I am so glad you felt such love from Oliver and Pearl and will be forever grateful for that.
DeleteI so appreciate reading this story and once again am amazing by your memory of details. This fills in so many details for me that I never could get straight. I can picture the story you told about the Elks Club and it is plain that Oliver was quite as character as was Pearl (you've talking quite a bit about her over the years). It seems that you were moved from home to home, each having a different parenting sit out. I am sure that really affected you deeply. I am sorry that you and Barbara could not grow uo together. But you are very independent and self-reliant, and I know you were able to entertain your self with your brilliance, wit, ability to note details and characterize others, imagination, and creativity. So proud of your many abilities and so proud to call you my mother. PS I liked how Oliver called his car 'The Machine." Silly.
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