The Hoarder, Part 3 of 4

By mid-afternoon, the green vinyl of the kitchen floor was beginning to show through. The refrigerator was nearly empty. "How am I supposed to get dinner for Milton tonight?" barked Martha crossly, as containers of spoiled Chinese carry-out, stale pizza and frozen blocks of ancient casseroles were being heaped in the dumpster.  Emily waved a gift card for "Farmhouse Kitchen" in Martha's sullen face. "Didn't I tell you?  As a reward for all your good work today, you and your husband will be eating out tonight."

Martha grimaced.  "We've been there. The food is greasy and they gave me a dirty fork once."

Emily sighed. Her blouse was spattered with green spots and something--a wad of school glue?--was stuck in her hair. She was alone with her intractable clients and she was already tired of them. Dr. Thimble had left this morning after only an hour, promising to check in at the end of the day. To Milton, almost every item was a "maybe." So far the truck held only the sagging frame of a shattered mirror, a ripped-open cushion where a mouse had birthed a litter of mouslings, a dozen mildew-spotted books and a baseball camp that said "Sparky." The front yard was cluttered with broken chairs and non-working lamps, but Milton would part with none of them, saying he'd fix them when he found time.  Martha told the crew to return the chairs and lamps to the house because it looked like rain.  As if Martha's bossiness wasn't irritating enough, Beatrice and Bunny arrived.

"Mom!" Beatrice exclaimed. "Why are you doing this now? You said you'd wait until the condo was ready. We need time to decide what we're taking."

The twins, who had just turned 40, wanted their old bedroom furniture for their new place, which was still under construction. 

"It was your dad's idea, not mine," said Martha.

"Geez," said Bunny, "I hope you didn't throw out my dresser lamps. I'll die if anything happens to those pink organdy shades."

"The crew is not going upstairs until tomorrow," said their mother.

The Hoarder, Part 2 of 4

 Milton hung up, gloomily picturing the oaks in his front yard coldly evaluating all the stuff in his house in their new role as "decision trees."  Monday was too soon. "Dr. Thimble isn't even giving me time to get organized," he moaned.  He pictured a corps of masked aliens in green jumpsuits, swarming through his house with a prurient interest in his things, while the trees in the front yard waited to be called upon to render decisions. He felt panic, then fury.

"Well?" asked Martha, brightly.

"Guess they'll be here Monday morning," he said, keeping his voice even.

Monday came and things didn't go well.  Martha eyed Dr. Lessing warily. Why did Dr. Thimble think they needed her anyway?  They were already paying him plenty. His job was easy enough. He was supposed to tell Milton what to do and then see that he did it. Here was this naive young thing trying to take charge. Martha didn't like the way she asked Milton's permission to tour the house, as if the house belonged only to him.  After poking around longer than Martha thought necessary, Dr. Lessing hugged them both and said, "We can do this!  Let's gather everyone out in the driveway."

As soon as everyone, including the clean-up crew (wearing orange jumpsuits) was standing in a circle, she explained the rules. Three bins stood in the yard, marked "keep," "toss" and "maybe." A curbside dumpster stood ready for trash and garbage. At the end of her speech, she had everyone, including Dr. Thimble, join hands and chant, "Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it!"

Milton looked as if he were about to cry.  Dr. Lessing, who now wished to be called Emily, hugged him and said, "Remember, Milton, it's a process.  You always have the final say. 

The Hoarder, Part 1 of 4

 About five years ago, our younger daughter suggested we both write a short story. She'd found an online site that provided opening lines of stories to help you get started. That day's opener is in bold print below.  I don't know what became of her short story, but I hung on to mine. I'm sharing it now, in four parts.  I hope you'll like it.

He looked at his phone, turned pale, then quickly left the room. She watched him, smiling.  She felt a small ping of happiness at the sight of his distress.

"Lighten up," she called after him cheerily. "It's only Dr. Thimble. There's nothing to be upset about. Just answer the damn phone."

They had been seeing Dr. Thimble for nearly three months.  It had been her idea. Milton wanted things to stay the way they were.  During their sessions, he often felt cornered by the two of them.  The previous week, Dr. Thimble finally asked Milton if he wanted to save his marriage. Milton appeared to be lost in thought until he sensed Martha's wrathful glare. He mumbled, "Uh, yeah, sure."  He sat up straighter in his chair and tried to look amenable, all the time picturing how much fun it would be to stop at the "Fifty-Family Yard Sale" on the way home.

"So you agree that the condition of your house has become unmanageable," Dr. Thimble was saying.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so," replied Milton.

"And you say you are ready to get help in managing the problem," Dr. Thimble went on.

"Uh, yeah, probably."

"Then let's get started.  I'll contact a company I work with and get back to you.  How does that sound?" asked the psychologist. Milton saw that Martha was beaming and shifted uneasily in his chair.

"Yeah, sure, OK."

So now Dr.. Thimble was phoning to say that he had hired "The Junkers" to haul unwanted clutter away.  They would arrive at 9 AM on Monday morning. Dr. Emily Lessing, an expert on "decision trees," would accompany them.

"So we'll see you early Monday morning," chirped Dr. Thimble brightly. "Have a good weekend." 

Dances with the Maryland Department of Motor Vehicles

                                                                 

 

• I recently danced a crazy fandango with the MD DMV.                                  August 3, 2020:  MD DMV sent me application for my 2022 registration sticker renewal. I filled out application and mailed it plus a check for $155.                   

• August 10-August 24:  Where's my sticker? It should be here by now. I checked my bank balance on line daily to see if check had cleared. DMV had not cashed check. I think the application and check could be lost. I don't put a "stop payment" on check because. with the pandemic, who knows what's going on at the DMV? My current registration will lapse on 8/31.                                                         
• August 25: DMV sends me new application. So the first application and check must have been lost.  I mail another application and check. 

• August 31:  sticker and registration arrive at the very last minute.                                     
• September 8: I routinely check my bank balance. I see that a check for $155 has been cashed, but this is odd. It's the first check I wrote. I look at a photocopy, front and back. The DMV deposited check # 1 on August 13th.  Why didn't they send me my 2022 sticker in mid-August?  I assume the DMV will soon return check # 2 to me.                                                                                                                                                                                                          
• September 10:  the DMV cashes check # 2. I send a letter to the DMV, asking them to refund the second check.                                                                                  
• September 11: I receive a letter from the MD Department of Transportation admonishing me that "it is too early to renew this vehicle. This vehicle may have already been renewed at a branch, kiosk, or online." They will refund the second check, but it will take 3-4 weeks.                                                                                           
• October 9: refund arrives from DMV.